


Shocking news

by CommanderHusky



Category: South Park
Genre: Eren - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 17:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHusky/pseuds/CommanderHusky
Summary: Some things takes us by surprise. Especially the impossible ones...





	Shocking news

"Holy shit!" Kenny exclaimed as he had to brace himself onto the stairs' railing after tripping with a can of something that nearly sent him down to the bottom with a broken neck most surely. But he couldn't afford to die tonight, not until he did what he came here to do at least. The lean blond finally reached the top and went into the room he was aiming for. Everything was pretty dark except for the spot where the moonlight entered through a huge hole in the wall. Sitting at the edge of said hole was a massive figure, a bit hunched over and looking outside. Kenny walked towards it kicking more cans and some other garbage until he sat beside the figure "This place is even trashier than when we used to come here to play" He looked around with a nostalgic smile "It's been what? Almost twenty years since we came here for the last time?" The figure didn't seem to even acknowledge Kenny at all. The blond just chuckled "You should have chosen a better place to hide though, this is unsanitary even for me…"

"Fuck you Kenny" The figure spoke in a strained and raspy voice.

"Thanks dude but no…" Kenny just chuckled "That time we did it in high school was awesome but now you're my brother in law and it would be weird… Not to mention that I would never allow you to cheat on my sister"

Eric scoffed and frowned deeply "Get off Kenny. I want to be alone"

The smaller man clicked his tongue "Man… And I thought this would be easy. That's my fault though for expecting you to handle things better after all these years" Kenny grabbed a can and threw it off to the tracks below them "Don't get me wrong. I have seen your change. Otherwise I would have never been okay with you marrying Karen but dude… You can't keep running away or shutting yourself off whenever something big happens. Especially when someone else needs you" Eric didn't reply and Kenny frowned a bit "I thought you would be happy with this! You should, dude! And If not then at least you should take responsibility for it and not hide yourself expecting everything to solve itself magically"

"I'm not doing shit about this" Eric finally growled "She should have thought better before fucking me over like this"

Kenny's frown deepened "You know, I have been tolerating your shit all these years and I thought you had become someone more decent with time. I came here because I thought you were just shocked or even afraid of facing what's happening but I won't let you ditch my sister like this so either you put your shit together and go talk to her to settle this out or you walk away from our lives forever"

The huge brunet shrugged but even in the dim moonlight the pain was obvious on his face "Yeah… I should probably do that. I was an idiot after all for thinking I could have a normal life and be happy with someone" Eric slowly stood up and began walking out of the room.

Kenny stood up too and grabbed Eric by the shoulder "No! You're not escaping that easily!" Maybe it was the ferocity in Kenny's voice, one he had never used against Eric before or maybe Eric just didn't really want to leave but the fat man stopped then and Kenny walked to face him still clearly angry "I don't know what you're talking about but this is your chance to have all that. Why are you acting this way? This is not just about what you think or feel anymore. You're married and your wife is gonna have a baby Eric! Stop being so selfish and go support her. Even If this is not what you wanted then at least talk to her and try to find a solution together" Kenny's anger had subsided a bit and his tone was more pleading which made Eric's expression to soften too "Just go back home Eric. Karen needs her child's father now"

That made Eric's face distort with anger again though and he pushed Kenny away so hard that the blond crashed against the wall behind him "If she needs the father then go get him and leave me alone"

Now it was Kenny's turn to be shocked at Eric's words and the venom in his tone. The blond was still leaning against the wall and shook his head trying to will himself into moving again "What… What are you talking about dude?"

Eric scoffed snidely "Of course she omitted that small detail right? That baby is not mine"

Kenny was frowning deeply "No… That's not possible. She wouldn't do something like that!"

"I guess you don't know your sister as well as you thought huh?" Eric gritted his teeth but there was more sadness in his voice than anger "Yeah, I know how that is too"

The large brunet began to walk again but Kenny stopped him once more "No Eric! Karen wouldn't do that to you! I know she loves you and I know she would leave you if she didn't but she would never cheat on you and even less getting pregnant with another guy and trying to force it upon you!"

"How can you be so sure?" Eric snarled and shook Kenny's hand off him.

"How are you so sure that it's not yours?" Eric gritted his teeth again but then just huffed and turned around again. Kenny ran in front of him and pushed the larger man to stop him "Answer me! I won't let you call my sister a cheater and just walk away like this!"

"I know it's not mine okay?!" Eric pushed Kenny again but not as forcefully as before "I'm…" The fat man sighed and looked down "I'm infertile…"

Kenny had been ready to brawl if it was necessary to settle this but now all the fight had left his body and he just stared at his lifelong friend with wide eyes "You're… Dude… really? How do you know?"

Eric rolled his eyes and walked to a nearby metal table that creaked under his weight when he sat on it "Remember that girl I had in college?"

Kenny nodded and followed his friend sitting beside him "Yeah, you were so into her… I thought you were going to end up married"

Eric scoffed drily "Yeah… She probably thought so too. But she wasn't into me. She just liked the power I had in the school. It made her look powerful too. But that was the extent of her interest. Behind my back she fucked pretty much any guy she could get her hands on and one day she came to me saying I had gotten her pregnant"

Kenny raised an eyebrow "I knew you fought in the end but you never told me why…"

Eric huffed and looked down "Well yeah, I wasn't going to tell everyone that I was being cheated on and worse…" He shook his head and sighed "She swore it was mine, which I knew was bullshit since I never fucked her without a condom but she said it had broken once and I knew that was a lie too because I was always careful about that shit. But she insisted and put everyone against me with that so I demanded a paternity test but the doctors said they couldn't do that in such an early stage of the pregnancy. We were on the verge of going into a lawsuit about it and my lawyer suggested that at least I could get done a fertility test. It was a slim chance but it could win us the case so I did it…" Eric scoffed with a sad smile on his face "At the moment I was stoked when they said I couldn't have a baby… Something about the motility of the sperm or it being dead or something… I didn't care then, I just pushed to take her to court and ended up the whole thing with her reputation destroyed and some hundred thousands in my pockets…"

After a long silence Kenny finally exhaled loudly and shook his head "Fuck dude… I never thought…" Then he knitted his brows and looked at Eric "Wait, if you're infertile why has Karen been taking pills all the time and stuff?" Eric looked away and bit his lower lip "You bastard! You never told her?!" Kenny stood up and walked around not sure If he was more angry or surprised at all this "How could you hide something like this from her? I thought you loved her! What else are you hiding from her?"

"I do love Karen!" Eric exclaimed clearly pained and dabbing at his eyes that had become watery "And I'm not hiding anything from her. Aside from that at least… I just…" The larger man closed his eyes for a moment and sighed "I thought that if she knew I couldn't give her a kid she would leave me…"

Kenny covered his face with his hands and huffed exasperated "Dude… sometimes I forget how a massive asshole you can be" The blond then scoffed "You really think Karen would do something like that? After growing up with parents who only saw us as means to get money and having everyone dismissing us all the time you think she wouldn't cherish having someone who actually loves her and would instead ditch you just because you can't get her pregnant?" Eric looked uneasy now and bit his lip averting his eyes from Kenny "She loves you. I think you're the only guy she has ever loved really. Karen wouldn't do something like that"

"But she would get someone else to knock her up it seems…" Eric growled lowly.

Kenny pursed his lips and walked to the table again "That's bullshit. I know there must be another explanation for this. You say you love her right?" Eric nodded "Then you gotta trust in her. There is no love without trust so you need to go and talk to Karen and see what really happened. It's not unheard of cases where even both of the parents were deemed infertile and ended up having a baby. You could get checked again, maybe things have changed in these years since you got out of college"

The large brunet rubbed his face with his hands and groaned "Fine… I don't…" Eric sighed "I don't really know what to do without her…"

Kenny smiled at his friend "It shows…" Eric scowled at him and the blond patted his back "Go to your wife dude. Settle this whole thing up and please, start thinking before doing stupid shit already. You're thirty for god's sake"

Eric snorted and got up "You sound like Kahl"

"But I look way better than him" Kenny grinned smugly and Eric rolled his eyes while walking out of the run down room.

***Disclaimer: I don't own the South Park characters or any of the brand names mentioned in this story. I don't own any of the songs mentioned on the story or used as chapter titles.


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